Some Thoughts on The Use of the Tongue

I have been studying James lately and what he says about the use of the tongue.  Perhaps something I say here might be something you can incorporate into a bridal shower talk.

“Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”

James 3:13-18 NASB

http://bible.com/100/jas.3.13-18.nasb

As wives, we want to be wise and understanding toward our husband.  How do we do that?  James says we are to show by our behavior our deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.  

What hinders gentleness, wisdom and understanding?

1. Bitter jealousy

2. Selfish ambition

3. Arrogance

Wow!  These three things don't sound that big, but they are.  How many marriages have you seen torn apart by jealousy, selfishness and arrogance?  Jealousy and selfishness are pretty self explanatory, but how does arrogance manifest itself in a marriage?  One little word works to describe it.  Nagging.  

When we nag our husbands we are showing ourselves to be arrogant.  We feel that if we don't nag he won't do what we want him to do.  If we don't nag, the lawn won't be mowed (and it might not be mowed!).  If we don't nag, he won't get out the door to work on time.  If we don't nag he won't get up for church on time (and he might not!).  If we don't nag, the taxes won't get done right.  If we don't nag, things won't get done right or on time (and they might not!)

Basically, our nagging communicates to our husband that we know better and he doesn't.  Isn't that arrogance?

While it might be true that if we don't nag things won't get done as we would want them done, we need to not do this.  It is unwise and it is not understanding of our men and their needs.  It's why they get a reputation for ignoring their wives.

We need to heed verse 17.  "But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy."

Peter has something to say about this too.  

“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.”

1 Peter 3:1-2 NASB

http://bible.com/100/1pe.3.1-2.nasb

Our behavior, especially, how we use our tongues, is of the most importance in marriage.  It's not always easy to bite your tongue, but the benefits reaped from doing it and pursuing the road of wisdom, gentleness and peace is worth it.

Roots and Wings Devotional

Bridal Shower Devotional

The above link is to a devotional about Roots and Wings.  You will need the song Find Your Wings on CD and words typed up to hand out, in order to have your audience sing the song a long with you at the beginning of the devotional talk.

Pretty Bridal Shower Themes by Guest Blogger Jennifer from Arcadian Home Decor

Bride's Bingo~A Bridal Shower Game

Valentine's Day Bingo

Here is an idea I came up with for fun game at a bridal shower.  Use the link above for the children's game of Valentine's Day Bingo, except when you make the bingo cards, put the bride and grooms names in the center space that is traditionally the free square.  Then use conversation hearts as the bingo markers.

As a prize for the winner (s) give away boxes of conversation hearts.

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​Giving a bridal shower talk? Here's the perfect resource!

Super Cute Bride Gift Idea

Darice VL1419, Here Comes The Bride Tote, 18-Inch by 16-Inch by 4-Inch, White

• Trendy Rhinestone Design
• Great for Bridal Party Gifts
• Great way to keep up with wedding day essentials
• Unique way to ask your friends to be a party of your wedding
• Bride - White, Bridesmaid and Maid of Honor - Black

This would be a really cute tote bag to give to the Bride after your devotional talk.  You could fill it with things she might need on her wedding day or on her honeymoon or first weeks of married life.

Maybe you could come up with a bridal shower talk that would use some useful items as visual aids that could be in the bag and then after the talk hand the bag to the bride as a gift!

Be creative!

​Giving a bridal shower talk? Here's the perfect resource!

Peter's Advice for Wives

“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external-braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.”‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭3:1-6‬ ‭NASB‬‬.  http://bible.com/100/1pe.3.1-6.nasb
This is a wonderful passage of scripture to use when writing up a bridal shower talk.  At first glance one might think this is really too old fashioned and besides it's not with the new thinking that women are equals with men and should assert themselves.

Not necessarily so.  First of all, we need to remember that this is not one man's opinion. It is the Word of God that tells us this.  So we should not be quick to dismiss it since God is speaking here through Peter.

The word submissive doesn't mean laying down and being a doormat.  Nor does it mean that you can never share your opinion for consideration.  Rather it has the idea of order, or rank.

Take a look at the local church.  There might be a plurality of pastors, but there is always a head pastor or main pastor who delegates and calls most of the shots.  However, he doesn't call the shots alone.  He has board meetings or deacon meetings where all get to lay their ideas out on the table and then they come to an agreement on what they will do together.  This is the idea of submission in the marriage. The husband is the head.

The wife is to respect her husband.  I take this to mean that you don't belittle him either to his face, in front of his peers, your friends or behind his back.

The wife is to behave with purity, gentleness and a quiet spirit.  She is not to dress in such a way as to draw attention to her body, but she is to work on her hidden person of the heart.   Many women are so concerned about the outward appearance that they do not work on the hidden person of their heart.

Becoming a woman of purity, respectful, gentle and quiet will go a long ways toward a happy marriage and home.  Notice the phrase without a word.  No nagging!  Women are notorious for nagging.

So here are just a few thoughts on this passage to get your ideas flowing toward a bridal shower talk on this passage.

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Giving a bridal shower talk? Here's the perfect resource!

A Christian Wedding: Bridal Shower Devotional | Christian Wedding Planner

Source: A Christian Wedding: Bridal Shower Devotional | Christian Wedding Planner

This is a wonderful example of a Christian bridal shower devotional.  Several things to note here:

1. The speaker knew the bride well.
2. The speaker knew her audience.
3. The speaker was considerate of her audience & the bride and did not bore them with details they didn't need to hear nor did she embarrass the bride (her daughter).
4. She kept it short and sweet and to the point.  Go take a look at the link above.

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Here is the perfect resource for giving a bridal shower talk!